The things, only you know
by Neshomeleh
Summary: Murray is gone to Europe for a couple of weeks and Cody and Nick can work on their secrets together without fearing Murray may notice what's going on - would it have been better, if Murray never left? Maybe!
1. Good News

„Guys, you won't believe what just happened to me!" Murray was so excited that he started this funny laugh that could drive some people crazy. Before anyone could answer he told them „My friends Mona and Jeffrey are going to marry in a few days and I'm invited."

Cody and Nick looked at each other before Nick spoke: „Boz, are you sure that it's in a few days? I mean, the invatition seems a little late."

„Yes, I know, but they decided it just a few days ago. It was a surprise for her birthday. Isn't that amazing?" There was the laugh again. „But there is a problem, guys."

„What is it?" they asked in union.

„Well, they marry in England – they already ordered a ticket for me and asked me to stay for a few weeks with them after the wedding. I might be gone for at least a month. I'd love to, but I don't want to let you down, leave you with all the work."

Now it was Codys turn to speak. „Don't worry, Murray. Nick and I have lived and worked together for a long time before you came to stay with us. We will be okay." Cody saw the slight sadness in Murrays face. „It will be hard you know, but we'll try the best. And if things really call for you, we're gonna give you a call."

So it was decided. Murray would leave them in three days. At least one of them was glad, he had missed to be alone with his best friend. He liked Murray, but things have been easier before and they had much more time just for the two of them, it made it harder to keep their secrets between them. Murray was a bit nosy and he just had a talent to rush into the room at the wrong times.


	2. The time has come

Nick was glad, when he could finally leave the airport after hours, 6 of them to be exact. Knowing that Murray was soon on his way to attend to his friends wedding, but not before making a promise to bring a lot of pictures of the wedding, he left. Rider wasn't looking forward to see wedding pictures of a couple he didn't even know. But he knew, that Murray would show those pics to him and Cody anyway, accompanied by many stories that they didn't want to hear, but would listen. He would have to prepare his best friend for it. Cody was having a hard time to cope with being constantly accompanied by someone.

He didn't mind Nick living with him though, because Nick was closer to him than a brother could be, closer than anyone had ever been to him. The love he felt for his best friend was different to the one he had shared with a woman or two in his entire life. Nick was his family, more than his own family had ever cared to be for him.

Murray was a great friend, a good guy, but he was really annoying at times. Everybody liked him, but other people had a choice to leave, whenever his strange laughter or his acting like a scientist now, yet like a drugged monkey or clown, would be too much for them. Murray laughed about his own jokes that made nobody else laugh, or just smile for that matter. He had seen people sharing annoyed looks more than once. It wasn't only Cody himself who felt this way, but he still didn't bring it over him to tell Murray the truth. He wanted to be close friends with him, share things or do things together and he most of all wanted Murray in their investigation team, but not living with them anymore. Because the worst thing about Murray was that he often talked for hours and kept them awake or away from their privacy for hours. And there was something about Cody that nobody knew, not even Nick and that itself was weighing hard on Cody Allen, to keep a secret that effected his very life, from his soulmate. But Cody was a very good-hearted, caring and loving person and didn't want to hurt Murray's feelings, especially not for his own worthless sake.

Nick sat in the car for a minute and ate the chicken-cheese-sandwich he got himself at the little bakery not far away from the airport. He washed the food down with a cold coke and put on his new sunglasses. The traffic was crazy and he was afraid it would take him a lot longer than usual to get home. Home, the place he now shared with his closest person and nobody else for the first time after some years. Maybe the Riptide wasn't his home, being a pilot and man of the sky, but Cody made it home. Wherever the blond man was, Nick felt safe and secure. They didn't have a relationship, well not _that _kind of relationship, but they were much closer than anybody even started to realize. By now Murray might have a good idea, but still no clue how much they really cared for one another.

Nick would probably miss Murray after he would be gone for a while, but he was really glad Cody and he finally had the time they had waited, longed for, a few months now. Cody needed the time to rest from the permanent noises around him, he had become more and more quiet over the three years they lived with a third person. And Nick, well, he needed his buddy to relax, so that he would finally break his silence and tell him what the hell was going on with him for the last six months where things had gotten to a point that Nick was afraid for his partner. Yes, he had noticed, even though his friend had done his best to hide it from him. Something was wrong with Cody Allen. It should be: Of course, he had noticed. How could he not notice, when the other mans soul hurt and his own felt some of the pain as well, without knowing why?

Nick ran some errands and decided to bring a few good movies, some good stuff for a great dinner and enough beer and popcorn. Cody loved that kind of stuff, just sitting around and having fun togehter and Nick loved watching him, when he enjoyed little things like that. Because, honestly, nobody else ever noticed, but life was a burden for Cody Allen. Nick wasn't surprised though, he knew anything about his friend. Well, except this one thing that he was now trying to figure out. He looked forward to the next couple of weeks.

Rider stepped on the Riptide and was humming a new summer hit he had heard in the radio. He didn't sing, he couldn't sing, so he hummed. Cody on the other side was singing in this beautiful soft voice, only if nobody was around of course, though Nick was sure that his friend had felt his presence more than once and hadn't stopped singing. Another thing about the blond man, he was shy.

„Cody? I'm back! Got some popcorn and beer for us, it's gonna be movienight tonight!" Nick brought everything to their small kitchen. „I also plan to prepare one of my great dinners just for you." There was no answer. „Buddy?"

Murray and he had left about nine hours ago and looking around now, he noticed that Cody hadn't touched the breakfast he had prepared for him before leaving. He went to their room, not finding his friend, but something that made him nervous for some reason he couldn't explain. The bed was ruffled like a hurrican had hit and the only target had been Cody Allen's sleeping place. The bedclothes were soaked in sweat up to his pillow. His friends shirt and trousers were lying around, which was more like him and so not his partner.

„Cody? Where are you, man?" He left the room to find Cody in their small bathroom, lying on the floor, not moving at all. Nick went down beside him in an instant. „Cody?" He turned him around, holding him up some. There was no reaction from his friend. Worry making his stomach hurt. „What happened to you, babe?" He saw the dried vomit covering his mouth and his chin. „Come on buddy, don't do this to me." He didn't see any signs of an injury or an attack for that matter and it scared the shit out of him not to know what was going on.


	3. Taking care

The good thing was that Cody was still breathing even, it helped to calm his friend some. But when he didn't wake up, no matter what Nick tried, all the calmness was gone again,. After another minute had passed without any reaction of the blond man, Ryder decided it was time to call 911. He jumped up and sprinted to their phone, but didn't get to dial more than the first number.

Cody stirred and screamed in pain. Nick almost dived by his side to help his waking friend. „Hey, babe, you're with me again?" He reached out to hold him close and get a good look at the other man, only to find himself pushed away hardly. „Stop it, please.. please, I can't take anymore... please.."

„Come on, buddy, I'm with you. You have to wake up."

A pain- and horrorfilled scream was his answer. „Please let me go!"

Nick was afraid for his friend, whatever was happening in his dream must be terrifying. He tried to wake his friend again, but it nothing helped. „No, not him, NO! Leave him alone, please... Take me, I do whatever you want, just don't hurt him, plaease!" There was a noise Nick didn't recognize at first. Could it be..?

„Cody, wake up for me, you're safe, I'm here." Nick's fear for his friend was worse than back when he was unresponsive.

The blond mans eyes opened wide. „Nick, no, you have to run... run away.."

„Cody, everything's fine , you just have to calm down."

„No, they'll come back, can't... can't let them hurt you, please run, leave me here, just go, Nick!" The panic in his eyes, his voice, even in his breathing worried the pilot.

„Nobody's here, man, it's just you and me. Calm down, buddy, you scare me to hell right now." He reached out again and was finally allowed to hold his best friend close.

Cody blinked twice. _I don't wanna scare, Nick. _„You're sure, we are safe? I don't want them to get you, too."

„We're alone, babe. Let me get you to our room and cleaned some. I'll tuck you in and you can tell me what happend, okay?"

Cody was dizzy and cold. The pain was the worse, and if that wasn't enough, he also was running a fever. He was weak and was afraid to throw up again, if he tried talking, so he nodded slightly to answer his friend. Nick helped him up and let him steady himself, but he kept swaying and his knees almost buckeld.

„Okay, that's it partner. I'll carry you." Cody didn't disagree and a new wave of worry washed over Nick, when he lifted his friend up and carried him to the bed. That was when he noticed that his partner had lost some weight.

Since Cody's bed was a disaster, he laid him down on his own bed. „I get some stuff to clean you and be right back. You need anything?"

„Water and painkiller", it was more a question than an answer, the voice weak.

Nick didn't need long, he would take care of the mess in the bathroom and Cody's bed later. His mind was occupied with the simple need to care of the most important person in his life.

Cody was already drifting again, when he came back with some warm water, a cloth, a bottle with cold water and Aspirin. He kneeled down beside the bed and touched the other mans face gently. „I'm back, buddy, don't fall asleep on me. Let's talk some, you can rest soon, okay?"

His partner nodded weakly and leaned into Nick's touch for a moment. „Good pal, I'll clean you and you take all the time you need to tell me what happened." Ryder soaked the cloth with warm water and began his task.

„I went back to sleep after Murray and you had left. Can you give me some of that water first?" Nick gave it to him and he took a few sips. He closed his eyes for a moment. And took two Aspirins and some more water, before going ahead. „I woke up, thought I had heard someone. It couldn't be you, because it was not even an hour later and I didn't expect you back for at least another five hours. I went outside to see, if someone was there and then..."

Nick was just getting a fresh short and shirt for him and waited for Cody to finish his sentence, but nothing came and he turned around just in time to see how his face lost the last rest of its color and his eyes widened in shock, his body totally still. Nick needed a second to understand the situation, but before he was able to do something, Cody screamed in horror and pulled the blanket over himself and the pillow over his head. He didn't stop screaming for a while.

Ryder kneeled beside his own bed and grabbed for his friend, who wouldn't let him under his shelter. „C'mon, babe, don't do this to me!" He felt somewhat helpless for the first time in a while. „You're safe! I'm here... I'm here, Cody." The last words ware not more than a whisper.

Suddenly the screams stopped and were replaced by heavy sobs. The covered man cried heavyly and let his partner finally take the pillow away and climb with him under the blanket. Nick hold him tight, kissed his hair. „It's okay, babe, you don't have to talk about it now. Just let me hold you for a while." Oh God, he wanted to know so badly what was going on, but his stomach still hurt and his heart was racing after seeing this kind of change in his friends face within a second or two. And Cody needed to calm down and rest, maybe it was gonna help and he would be able to tell Nick then what had happened.

„So sorry, Nick", the blond man slurred into his partners neck.

„It's okay, babe." Despite what had just happened, he couldn't help the smile that formed on his face, when he felt Cody's soft breath on his skin. He listened to the light snoring of the sleeping man. It calmed him and he, too, fell asleep very soon after. The exhaustion, due the long time at the airport and the current situation, too, finally took over and he drifted into his own dreams.


	4. Confused

He woke up, everything was dark. It took him a while to find out that he was on a boat. It scared him, how had he come here? Panic was rising inside of him and then he felt something beside him; rather someone. His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he recognized that the person beside him was his best friend. „Nick", he whispered.

Cody was shocked, Nick was here with him. He was supposed to be far away from this place, far away from him. Things had been bad for him since he had come to join this company, but Nick had always prevented worse without knowing it. Just the respect and fear that the other men felt with Nick Ryder around had been enough to keep the bullying low and most times non-violent. Cody had never told him what was going on.

_Then, one day a disaster took place. 'Charlie' found them and they were attacked. Several soldiers were wounded. Cody was in the middle of friendly and enemy fire and was hit twice. He broke down, screaming in pain and scared for his life. Nobody came to help him. They just let him lay there, didn't care if he was to be killed or not. _

_When one opposite soldier came close enough to put a blade on his throat, ready to kill him, he heard someone yelling "Cody, no!" Followed by several shots from both sides. His attacker fell down on him, dead. Nick was at his side, pulled him out of the firing line. When he woke up again in a small sickbed, nobody was at his side. He asked for Nick, but nobody told him that his friend had been badly injured, while he had rescued him. It was just a coincidence that he found out after a few days. Nick had been brought back to the US. Not long after Cody started working again. _

_And until now they had been writing each other. Cody missed Nick, but he never mentioned in any letter, that they treated him like shit, since Nick wasn't there to protect him. He was humiliated and beaten on a daily base, nobody was there to help him. They did things to him, that were better left unspoken. _

_He wanted Nick with him, but every time they pushed him out of their camp at night and did whatever they had on their mind just then, he was grateful that his best friend was far away and didn't see his heavy tears and his mistreated body. _

Now, he was sitting here in a bed, a real bed! On a boat!, and Nick was sleeping next to him. His arm around the blonds waist. But when had he come back? Was back the right word in the first place? Because Cody didn't know where they were.

He got up, hesitated for a moment, when he thought Nick was waking up and left the small room. He got outside looked at the quiet water in the darkness. There was no light, except the moonlight. Everything was peaceful, too peaceful for his taste, had he learned during the war years, that silence often came before fighting situations with the enemy. He was scared to be at this boat, that place he didn't know. Everything was a blur. Suddenly there was a blinding light, he went down on his knees and started screaming.

* * *

Nick woke, when Cody left the bed, but was too exhausted to really comprehend it and fell asleep again within seconds. But his sleep was disturbed by a nagging feeling that something was going to happen, so he was up in no time, when he heard his friends screams. He followed the voice and ran toward Cody, who was sitting on his knees, bent over and vomiting.

"I'm here buddy, let me hold you." Nick took his friend into a soothing embrace, but was surprised, when Cody pushed him hard on the floor and ran away from him. "Cody!" Nick got on his feet. "Come back, stay with me!" But the blond man kept running like the devil was following him.

Nick was irritated by this unexpected reaction and ran after his partner. He almost caught him, but Allen sped up and the dark haired man fell back. His friend disappeared around a corner and then there was a loud noise. An engine roared up, he ran around the corner and heard Cody' body flying through the air before he saw him landing on the hard ground. The car was already out of sight.

But he didn't have eyes for it anyway, his focus was on his motionless friend. Fear grabbed his heart. "Babe?" He turned him around. There was some blood running down his temple, but other than that there were no obvious injuries. He shouted for help, but it was in the middle of the night and nobody reacted. He thought about running back to the boat to call 911, but didn't want to leave his hurt partner alone.

He was torn, tears were stinging in his eyes. "You have to be okay, Cody, do you hear me?" Nick wasn't a doctor, but he was pretty sure that nothing was broken.

"Nick?" Cody was fighting his way back to consciousness, he was irritated. He wasn't lying in Nick's bed anymore and his best friend was hovering over him with wet eyes. "What happened?"

Nick didn't know what to say. He was too relieved to see his friend conscious and able to speak, but shocked at the same time, that the man didn't seem to remember that a car had pushed him several feet through the air. "You – you were run over by a car. Don't you remember? You ran away from me and then it happened."

Cody shook his head. "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. Last thing I remember was that I fell asleep in your arms in your bed." They were both silent for a long moment. "Do you mind helping me up?"

"Oh God, sure, buddy. Sorry, sorry." Nick helped Cody on his feet and took most of his weight on their way back to the boat and their room.

"I think, I'll take you to the hospital, pal."

"No, no, I'm fine. Just need some rest, okay?"

Nick wasn't sure it was the right thing to do, but he was so scared for his friend that he didn't want him out of his sight and control. Something a hospital wouldn't allow. "Okay, babe, but I'm going to wake you every few hours."

"Thanks, Nick!"

While Ryder took care of his partners head wound, he explained Cody what had woken him and how he had tried to catch the fleeing man only to find him hit by that car and without a sign of life.

Allen didn't remember anything of it and wondered why he hadn't let Nick hold him. He knew that it always calmed him to be close to his friend, his family. So everything he heard made him worry, but his head hurt so bed, that he fell asleep pretty soon. Nick was lying close to him again, shivering, still in shock about what had happened in front of his eyes.

It was going to be a long night and he had a lot of thinking to do.


End file.
